Are you getting bad advice? Check for these signs.
There are a lot of reasons why advice is important, top of which include learning from and not repeating other people’s painful mistakes. It also provides problem-solving ideas and can help you later on in making better decisions generally. People giving you advice show you that they care for you, however not every advice should be swallowed hook, line and sinker. Here are some signs that you may be getting tainted advice:
The advice is generic
Most of us listen to someone with the intention of replying, and therefore as soon as we have a “reply” in mind, we stop listening and wait our turn to reply. No matter what remarkable new insights are uncovered in the subsequent words from the other person, it is likely that we now have a strong desire to share that initial thought we have about what to say back. Advice that has little to no context about you or your challenge is often bad advice. If you receive advice that is more about someone else’s experience, make sure the situation mirrors yours exactly.
The person has a bad listening habit
Listening is the ability to accurately receive and interpret messages in the communication process. Listening is key to all effective communication. Without the ability to listen effectively, messages are easily misunderstood. If the advice you’re getting is filled with “shoulds” be cautious. Good advice requires context that can only be learned when the other person takes the time to ask you questions and listen.
The advice understates process
Results Oriented people are concerned with the outcome. They want another victory in the win column; to be called champion and most importantly they don’t want to lose. You can also say that Results Oriented people focus more on the now while Process Oriented people focus more on the future. Be cautious of advice that’s laser-focused on the decision and not the steps leading up to it. The evaluation process is just as important as the final answer.
The advice encourages emotional decisions
Different emotions effect decisions in different ways. If you’re feeling sad, you might be more willing to settle for things that aren’t in your favor, such as not putting yourself forward for promotion, or remaining in an unhealthy relationship. When you look for advice it’s because you want objectivity, a thoughtful second opinion. But if the person’s input is filled with emotions, it might be a good idea to pass.
Your instincts hint otherwise
Instincts are a culmination of your heart intelligence, your situational intelligence and your mental intelligence fused together with your unique DNA. They join forces in an instant to send you impulses to move. Instincts and the impulses they send are always about doing something. If your inner voice disagrees with someone’s advice, go with your gut. “Chances are strong that you’re right”
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