Maintaining a positive mindset

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Before you learn how to keep a positive attitude, taking a look at some of the benefits of positivity is a good idea. Being positive can help you in a wide variety of ways, both in your personal relationships and in your pursuit of professional success. When you don’t have a positive attitude, it can be easy to see personal or professional failures as a reason not to try in the future. If you have a positive outlook, however, you can view failures as opportunities for improvement and use them as motivation to keep striving for your goals by maintaining a positive mindset.

Your Language Shapes Your Thoughts

Little changes in your language can change the way you think and how you act. Whenever someone greets you and asks how you’re doing, do you answer with “fine” or “not too bad”? Think about just what this language is communicating to others… and yourself. Always answer with “great,” “fantastic,” or “amazing.” Not only does this remind me that life really is great, but it usually helps the other person shift toward a positive attitude as well. Also, take some time to look at the way your inner voice talks to you. Is that language positive or negative? If it’s overly critical or negative, it may be time to tap into some mindfulness meditation in order to shift your inner critic to an inner cheerleader.

Be aware of the good things in your life

Focusing on the negative in your life instead of the positive is one of the biggest obstacles you may have to maintaining a positive mindset. Fortunately, you can easily start changing your mindset by writing a gratitude journal. A gratitude journal is a notebook in which you keep track of all the good things in your life. At the end of every day, write down five things you’re thankful for that day so you can focus on the good in your life instead of the bad.

Most people have a lot more to be thankful for than they realize. For example, if you’ve had a bad day at work, you can be grateful that you get to come home and spend time with your family. Focusing on the things you’re grateful for instead of the things you’d like to change can make it easier for you to stay positive, even when you’ve had a bad day.

maintaining a positive mindset

Have something to look forward to after work

You may be tired after a long day of work, but having something planned after 5 p.m. can make the day look a little brighter. Whether it be with your coworkers, family, or friends, a night of fun can make the day go by a lot faster. Your plans don’t always have to involve going out for drinks or dinner. Even planning a Netflix marathon can put a silver lining on your workday. The point is to craft your days to be more than just “work.” By penciling in some fun time several days a week, you can find a healthy way to balance your personal and professional life.

Positive company can help with maintaining a positive mindset

The company you keep also has a much bigger impact on your attitude than you may realize. You tend to imitate the people you spend the most time with, even if you’re doing it unconsciously. If you spend most of your time around people with a negative attitude who complain about everything, you’re more likely to start acting the same way. If you want to maintain a positive attitude both at work and at home, you should surround yourself with positive people. Spend as much time as you can with coworkers who enjoy working and take obstacles in stride, and try to make friends who are encouraging and rarely complain. When your professional and social network is filled with positive people, your attitude and behaviors will be a lot more positive than they would be otherwise.

Try to make other people feel happy

Setting daily goals can be a good way to find success and to develop a great attitude, particularly if one of your goals is to make someone else smile on a regular basis. It can be easy to forget just how much of an impact our actions and attitudes have on other people. If our actions are negative, it will negatively impact those around us.

If you want to stay positive, try to do something good for someone else every day. Offer a sympathetic ear to a friend in crisis or call a family member you haven’t talked to in a while. At work, lend a hand on a project without being asked or buy your co-workers a surprise lunch. Making someone else smile every day will show you just how important your attitude and actions are to other people, which will remind you to stay positive.

Cosmetic Surgery risks they don’t tell you about

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Cosmetic surgery is a range of procedures that reshapes or restores the form of the body. Although the term is usually associated with beautification procedures, it actually includes a broad range of practical operations including reconstructive surgery, craniofacial surgery, burn treatment, and more. Whatever the motivation, the decision to undergo surgery should never be made lightly — one must always review the potential risks and rewards.

As with any surgery, plastic surgery carries risks. People have had surgery that has resulted in scars, disfigurement, or worse. While the worst outcomes are rare, such risks are nonetheless a reality. While each type of surgery bears its own risks that are specific to that particular procedure, certain risks are common to all surgical procedures such as pneumonia, loss or change of sensation, infection, paralysis or less severe nerve damage and sometimes even excessive bleeding.

Nerve damage

The potential for nerve damage is present in many different types of surgical procedures. Numbness and tingling are common after plastic surgery and can be signs of nerve damage. Most often the nerve damage is temporary, but in some cases it can be permanent. Most women experience a change in sensitivity after breast augmentation surgery, and 15 percent experience permanent changes in nipple sensation.

Organ damage

Liposuction can be traumatic for the internal organs. Visceral perforations or punctures can occur when the surgical probe comes into contact with internal organs. Repairing these injuries can require additional surgery and sometimes these perforations from cosmetic surgery procedures may also be fatal.

Scarring

Surgery typically results in some scarring. Since cosmetic surgery seeks to improve the way you look, scars can be particularly troubling. Hypertrophic scarring, for instance, is an abnormally red and thick raised scar. Along with smooth, hard keloid scars, it occurs in 1.0 to 3.7 percent of tummy tucks.

Infection

Though post operative care includes steps to reduce the risk of infection, it remains one of the more common complications of plastic surgery. For instance, infections occur in 1.1 to 2.5 percent of people who undergo breast augmentation. The skin infection cellulitis may occur after surgery. In some cases, infections can be internal and severe, requiring intravenous (IV) antibiotics.

Unexpected Beauty Botches

Any time you tamper with the body’s balance, you risk creating new problem areas. One recent study found that liposuction may slim one problem area while creating another. Women who suction fat from their thighs and lower abdomen ultimately destroy those fat cells. When they eventually put weight back on, it distributes unevenly—often to less flattering areas like the upper abdomen, back and arms.

Damaging Peer Reactions

Perhaps the most insidious threat of a cosmetic surgery is the response by others. Coworkers may perceive you as vain, manipulative or threatening. Other men may interpret a male colleague’s new head of hair as an unfair advantage, or women may decide a female’s new, larger breasts are an abuse of sexual power. Finally, the hidden hazards within the family may be worst of all. Children who watch a parent or close relative take the drastic measure of surgery can develop a skewed vision of their own bodies that they may never escape. Likewise, women who hope a procedure will help their romantic relationship often receive a rude awakening.

Raising boys to be better men

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Young boys can be energetic, loud, active, prone to being unruly, and getting them to listen to you all the time is challenging. Parents of boys understand very well that they can be quite a handful; however, with some clever parenting methods, it’s possible to ensure your boys grow up to be great men. Here are some tips on raising boys to be better men.

Emphasize Kindness and Empathy

Boys are seen as ‘naturally’ rough, but that is mostly the product of society’s rigid rules around masculinity. Thus, sensitivity can be taught to boys. To encourage their sensitive side to develop, show them the importance of kindness while playing with others by sharing their toys and being gentle with pets. Read them stories of great men in the past who worked for peace and justice in the world. Search for opportunities in your community such as a volunteer mentoring program where your boys can work with strong role models (both male and female) and learn from them. Explain to them the importance of putting themselves in the shoes of another to understand their pains; it is a start in building empathy while raising boys.

Encourage Show of Emotion

Encourage emotional expression in boys; it’s always better for them to understand and express their emotions in a healthy way, which also includes crying. Learning how to better be in touch with their emotions is a critical skill they need before they can be kind and empathetic men. To build the right idea of bravery while raising boys, they need to understand that everybody feels fear and it’s normal to do so. However, being brave is doing the right things, despite your fears and overcoming them.

Teach Responsibility through Chores

Never let your children skip household chores, it’s critical to engage them in the activity so they can learn to take up responsibility. This is especially important when you’re going over everything crucial on how to raise a boy child as a single mother. Let him take part in everything from grocery shopping, to cooking and housekeeping.

Let Them Have Their Play Time

Children are physical most of the time; it is a way in which they express their affection. Jumping off furniture, or a hug that seems more like a full body tackle, or rolling on each other in seemingly aggressive play comes quite natural to kids. Although it is exhausting to you, it’s normal and healthy for them. The rough and tumble play fosters positive relationships among children, boys included, and builds their physical intelligence. Then there will inevitably be moments you will have to take them to the emergency room for a stitch or treating bruises from a fall. Although no parent likes to see their child getting hurt, it’s not possible to cushion the whole world around them.

Inculcate Polite Behavior

Part of building good behavior in boys means you channelize their energies in more positive ways rather than trying to stifle it. Although trying to discipline your boy’s feisty behavior can push you to your limits, it’s important to keep calm when raising boys. Parents must at all times avoid responding with their own aggressive behavior to their boy’s aggressive play. Severe scolding or spanking might curb their behavior momentarily, but it is seen that children who are severely punished turn out to be aggressive in the long run. Therefore, adopt an approach where you praise them for their good behavior and when they are well mannered and remind them of that whenever they misbehave. Show genuine interest in things they find appealing and ask them questions about it, whether they like collecting toys or bugs in a jar, stimulate deeper thinking to stop them from becoming impulsive.

 

Staying sane in the lockdown

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As people around the world self-isolate because of Covid-19, factors like anxiety, a lack of social interaction or outdoor time and economic stressors can lead to mental health challenges. While everyone’s circumstances vary and people are experiencing this global pandemic in different ways, many have found relief using similar approaches. Here’s a few approaches to staying sane in the lockdown.

Take a walk

Get outside your four walls at least once a day. If you are concerned about contact venture out first thing in the morning or later in the evening. A simple walk around the block can provide the mental reset needed when you feel your mind slipping into negativity and need help staying sane.

Connect with people

Reach out to others daily. There are so many different ways to connect. Try FaceTime, Skype, phone calls or texting to connect with other people in order to seek and provide support to people that may be struggling too.

Have your safe space

Space can be pretty handing when it comes to staying sane, particularly with city living but It is important identify a space for retreat when things feel overwhelming. Identify a place where you can go to calm down when stressed. You can make this place cozy by using blankets, pillows, cushions, scarves, beanbags and even tents. It is good to know that even when we are on top of each other, we have our own special place to go to be alone.

Limit negative news

Regulate your social media and COVID conversation. The amount of negative news can be extremely overwhelming. That doesn’t mean to cannot update daily with key pieces of information. Check in with one trusted news source every day. What are you really going to miss? Somebody will soon fill you in soon enough.

Help others

It’s a fact that helping others benefits both you and them. Find ways however big or small to give back to others. Helping others will increase your own wellbeing through a renewed sense of purpose. Support local business, offer to shop for elderly neighbors, check in with friends and family. These acts of kindness help to levy perspective and get you out of your head, home and personal concerns.

Start a pet project

Find a long-term project to dive into. Now is the time to learn how to play an instrument, put together a huge jigsaw puzzle, read all those unread books, paint a picture, crochet a blanket or start an online course. Find something that will keep you busy, distracted, and engaged to give you respite from what is going on in the outside world. Distractions are always a good approach to staying sane and it could also prepare you for the new normal with a vocational skill, new website or marketing plan.

 

Defining success on your terms

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“What does success really mean in my life?” The only person truly equipped to answer that question is you. Some people might define success as having luxurious cars and a huge mansion, whereas some others consider a life full of joy and happiness with their family as the true meaning of success. Most people have different views on what being prosperous in life means, and end up defining success from very unique perspectives.

Although it is safe to assume that there can’t really exist a definition of success that is universal for everyone, it is very important that you know exactly how to define success in life. Once you have figured out what is important to you personally, you are then able to focus on your visions and goals more productively. In order to lead the life that you desire, you must set your own goals and idea of success according to what you want and not based on external pressure or expectations.

defining success

Ask yourself: What is success?

When defining success, its never a bad idea to start small. But how do you define it without selling yourself short? Is it getting up in the mornings and getting to the gym? Is it the To-Do list that you set out for yourself the day before? The purpose of defining your own success is to start living a life based on your own expectations and terms. The actions that bring you joy, a sense of accomplishment, service, and progress are where you should be investing your energy.

How do I achieve it?

Chances are, if it makes you happy and requires you to use your skills and effort, then you probably should be doing it everyday. The new phone or car — those are just temporary rewards; they won’t last. The moment you define what the meaning of success is to you, the only way to achieve it is to take the steps forward in accomplishing your goals or objectives. The moment you stop trying to constantly please others and meet their expectations, only then can you find joy in the things you are already doing — or will start doing. Write it out if you have to and define what success is to you. You can create both short-term and long-term goals. Its always advisable to use the SMART technique to goal setting.

Don’t Wait!

Once you are done defining success and what it really means to you, only then can you start achieving it daily and on your own expectations. Don’t wait to start living like this, start one day at a time. The more you strive to be better than yesterday, the more successful you will feel because of cumulative progress matters. You can feel it when working hard towards completing a project. You can see it when you reflect back on when you first started, and the leaps that you took to get to where you are today.

Hear from women in diaspora as they share how they attained success on their own terms.

Preparing for Motherhood; Things to do

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When preparing for motherhood it can be so easy to get caught up in all the things baby needs, but it’s important to remember that baby doesn’t just need stuff. Baby also needs a healthy and happy mom, so you need to prepare yourself as much as you need to prepare baby’s room. As much as we would like to believe we come equipped with natural motherhood as soon as the baby ejects itself from our bodies, we cannot possibly be completely aware of how to be a “mom.” Here’s a list of things that you can practice before you birth your baby so that you don’t go insane.

Know yourself  (and plan to not lose her)

Some women lose themselves easily after becoming moms because they haven’t strongly anchored themselves in their pre-baby life. Know what makes you happy in life. You should know what you love to do and what feeds your mind body and soul. Surely, you know what your passions are and how you handle change, difficult times and sleep deprivation.

If you know what you’re made of, what your great qualities are, and what qualities show up when you’re tired, you will be much more likely to be prepared. Do you know where your happy place is? Do you meditate? Like to cook? Do yoga? Love shopping? Know what your absolute non- negotiables for nurturing yourself are. If you know that you need uninterrupted time every day, chat with your hubby or family members about a set time you can have that. These are all things to think about ahead of time when preparing for motherhood.

Exercise

It’s so important to stay as healthy as you can throughout your pregnancy, and the internet is full of awesome ideas on how to do that (after asking your doctor of course). Try doing yoga, walking, anything that keeps you on your feet while you can stay on them. There will be days where it’s just not going to happen, but even a few times a week makes such a big difference, both for your mental and physical health. It also makes delivery and postpartum recovery a little easier, which is definitely something you want!

Start saying exactly what is on your mind.

Your husband or partner is going to say the wrong thing at two am when the baby is screaming and neither of you knows what to do. Tell them your feelings are hurt so you can have a little disagreement now instead of waiting and having a big argument later. Also, it’s inevitable that you’re going to have some arguments. No one is immune to disagreements and it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have procreated with this person.

Make time for you and your partner

When preparing for motherhood, it can be easy to neglect your spouse. Some people go on babymoons. If you don’t know what that is, basically it’s like a mini (or not so mini) honeymoon right before baby comes. It gives you and your partner some time to get away from the craziness of getting ready for baby, and to spend some last-minute time together before baby arrives! Even if you don’t do anything like that, make sure you and partner have some date nights and take some much-needed much-deserved time for yourselves.

Ask for help

So many women think they are supposed to do it all on their own and not ask for help. If you have a pretty good idea of where you might need some time and some help, then go ahead and set up your support system now. When preparing for motherhood, it is not enough to say “I’ll call you if I need you” or for others to say “call me if you need me”, No! Put pen to paper and assign tasks NOW! If you know you don’t do well with sleep deprivation, hire a night nurse, or at least have one on back up. If you want to be able to go back to work or your business because that is YOUR thing? great! Prepare yourself for it. ASK for help. Asking for help IS self-care.

Supporting women-owned businesses

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Gender equality is important. Communities where opportunities for women are on par with men have fewer child deaths, fewer conflicts, and better public services and health, data show. There are also strong economic incentives to close the gender gap as research shows that where women-owned businesses thrive, the community wins. The country’s GDP grows and the global economy benefits. In places where women’s entrepreneurship is restricted or limited, the opposite happens — individuals, communities, countries and the global economy miss out on unrealized economic gains. Female entrepreneurs have also had a big impact on the economy, employing almost nine million people and generating more than $1.6 trillion in revenue.

Challenges women-owned businesses face

women-owned businesses

Despite these impressively positive numbers, women-owned businesses are still in the minority, and the hurdles faced by women who have embraced entrepreneurship are vast and often very different from those experienced by their male counterparts. They include:

Defying social expectations: Most female business owners who have attended networking events can relate to this scenario: You walk into a crowded seminar and can count the number of women there on one hand. When women entrepreneurs talk business with primarily male executives, it can be unnerving. In this sort of situation, women may feel as though they need to adopt a stereotypically “male” attitude toward business: competitive, aggressive and sometimes harsh. But successful female CEOs believe that remaining true to yourself and finding your own voice are the keys to rising above preconceived expectations.

Building a support network:  A robust support network is essential for entrepreneurial success, so it’s no surprise that 48% of female founders report that a lack of available advisors and mentors limits their professional growth. With the majority of the high-level business world still being dominated by men, it can be hard to blaze your own path and facilitate the introductions and connections into some of the more elite business networks. As most of business today still rings true with the philosophy that ‘it’s not what you know; it’s who you know,’ this can be a huge factor in the ultimate success of women-owned businesses.

Coping with the fear of failure: Failure is a very real possibility in any business venture, but should not be viewed as a negative or an excuse for relinquishing your goals as a female entrepreneur. Women need to work through the moments of self-doubt that every business owner faces and not wait for perfection before starting their business or taking a big promotion. The road to success is paved with losses, mishaps and mistakes, but it can still take you where you want to go as long as you don’t lose sight of your ultimate destination. So when you hear ‘no’ again and again, when your plans don’t turn out, or if you make a costly decision, see that as a teaching moment and rise above.

Practical ways to support women-owned businesses

women-owned businesses

Give a review for your favorite women-owned businesses: Head over to Google, Yelp, Facebook and leave a positive review on women-owned businesses and share all the reasons why others should support the business as well. Leave detailed reasons why you are leaving five stars. It may just be your review that makes the purchasing decision for others contemplating that business

Host a gathering of women entrepreneurs: Whether you host a small coffee chat on a virtual platform or, safely, a more business-centered luncheon or a casual gathering, seek to bring women together with the intention of connecting, collaborating and supporting each other.

Make purchases from women-owned businesses: For each holiday season, vow to purchase gifts from female entrepreneurs and women owned small businesses. Choosing your gifts with the intention of helping and supporting women will inspire others to do the same.

Join a women’s entrepreneur organization: Hundreds of networking organizations support women-owned businesses. Many are funded exclusively by membership dues, and joining them supports their mission.

Infertility: What are the alternatives?

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Struggling to become pregnant can feel like the end of your dreams of building a family. So many couples always imagine themselves conceiving naturally and becoming pregnant, adding to their family the “traditional” way. It can feel unfair when you realize this will never become your reality. However, this doesn’t have to be the end of your goals for building a family. Thanks to advances in medical technology and a greater acceptance for “nontraditional” families, an infertility diagnosis is no longer the end of the road for hopeful parents. Today, there is no right or wrong way to have a child. Hence, we’re going to be exploring what the alternatives are for building a family despite infertility.

Fertility Drugs

The first step for many couples exploring their infertility options is often to try taking fertility drugs. A reproductive endocrinologist will typically examine both partners to see what could be causing the infertility before prescribing medication that may increase sperm production and quality, stimulate ovulation, thicken the uterine lining, and more. It’s important to talk openly and honestly with your doctor to learn which medications may be most helpful for you and your partner.

Sperm, Egg or Embryo Donation

Sometimes it happens that an intended parent does not have a viable egg or sperm for the embryo-creation process, in which case the intended parents may pursue a gamete donation as one of their options for infertility. If this is the path taken, one parent will have a genetic connection to the child, even if both of them can’t. Of course, if neither parent has a healthy egg or sperm, you can also pursue an embryo donation.

Surrogacy

If a couple cannot carry a child themselves, surrogacy can be an amazing experience. In this option of the infertility alternatives, an embryo is either donated or created by the intended parents before being implanted into a surrogate’s uterus. The surrogate will carry and deliver the child for the intended parents.

In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is biologically related to the child she carried. However, because of the emotional and legal complications involved, this type of surrogacy is rarely practiced today. Instead, the most common kind of surrogacy is gestational, which means the surrogate has no relation to the child she carries. In fact, gestational surrogacy often involves the use of the intended parents’ own gametes, which allows them to be the biological parents of their baby.

Hear from our guest on her real life experience exploring surrogacy as an alternative to infertility

Adoption

Adoption is a more common option of the infertility alternatives. where a parent brings a child they are not genetically related to into their family. In this family-building method, the adoptive parents have nothing to do with the conception of the child, however it is not strictly used as an infertility alternative. There are many different forms of modern-day adoption, including:

Private domestic adoption: The adoption of a child within a country from a woman who has independently chosen to place her baby for adoption. In this form of adoption, a pregnant woman gets to choose her adoption plan as well as her child’s adoptive family, and adoptive parents raise the baby from birth. Adoptive parents and birth parents often have a relationship as the child grows.

International adoption: The adoption of a child (typically an older child or one with special needs) from a foreign country. Foster care adoption: If a child in the foster care system is legally free to be adopted, it means his or her biological parents have had their rights terminated by the court. The biological parents are no longer eligible to regain custody of their child, and so the child is now free to be adopted by a permanent adoptive family. Adoption, of course, is not a cure for infertility. Rather, this is a separate family-building method for families who are more interested in being parents than being pregnant or having a genetic relationship to a child.

 

Uncommon valentines day ideas

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Regardless of your relationship status, Valentine’s Day should be fun. Whether you spend it with your partner of two years or your BFFs of 20 years, it’s the perfect time to do whatever makes you feel happy, sexy and, of course, extra. A holiday filled with red hearts, balloons, chocolates and flowers is truly an ideal situation if you allow yourself to lean into the spirit. But you can rid yourself of all the pressure that comes with sticking to more conventional expectations and explore some of our rather uncommon valentines day ideas.

Put together a scrapbook filled with favorite memories.

Showing your partner how much you remember can make Valentine’s Day extra special. Compile favorite photos, tickets from places you’ve traveled, inside jokes you two have, etc., and put it all into a sweetly decorated scrapbook or journal. You two can flip through it over dinner and reminisce about all the good times you’ve shared.

Hang out with your best friends.

Feel free to spread and share the love on Valentine’s Day. Sometimes a double or triple date can be more fun than sticking solo. Head out to your favorite restaurant or bar with your group and celebrate romantic love and friend love at the same time.

Spend the day in bed.

Reserve a day out of Valentine’s week to completely ignore the outside world with your partner. Spending the day in bed is one of the most romantic things we’ve seen in movies and read about in books, so it’s time to try it out in the real world. Turn off your phones and forget about putting real clothes on. Today is not the day.

Set goals for the future.

Think of this like a couple’s vision board. Do you hope to move into a house together in the next five years? Perhaps you’re trying to have a baby soon. Or you could simply wish to go on a romantic tropical vacation in the next year. Whatever goals you two have for your relationship, write them out or collage them together on a poster.

List 14 reasons you love your significant other.

Prepare ahead of time and write out 14 reasons why you adore your partner to celebrate the 14th day of February. Share this list over a candlelit dinner and let the feelings fly. Don’t be afraid to get real and allow your heart to speak fully. Words are sometimes the best gift a person can receive.

Have fun with each other this Valentine’s Day. Do what fits your relationship and show your partner how much you care. We hope you have been inspired by our Uncommon valentines day ideas.

Do Black Lives matter yet?

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A survey on public attitudes toward political engagement and activism on social media has revealed that between July 2013 and May 1, 2018, the hashtag “#Black Lives Matter” had been tweeted over 30 million times. An average of 17,002 times per day and as of June 10, 2020, it had been tweeted roughly 47.8 million times. While the movement’s advocacy for non-violent civil disobedience in protest of all racially motivated violence against people of black ethnicity seems to have gained world wide popularity, much is still left to be seen in terms of individual and institutional accountability on the matter globally.

Humanity First

Humanity – a word for the state of being humane, can easily be identified as the qualities that make us human, such as the ability to love, show compassion, and be creative. Although this seems like an obvious and basic school of thought, the personal experiences of martyrs like George Flyod, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin and Ahmaud Arbery indicates that a humanity-first mindset does not always take the lead when black lives are involved.

The Journey Ahead

As these racial equity challenges slowly but surely make their way to the forefront of today’s discussions, so have questions on how to be an ally in the movement against anti-black racism. Some key mile-markers on the path to racial equity include:

 

What does it mean to be a Black person in the 21st century? Watch this episode on YouTube to find out!